Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Quigley Cuts Down - Update.

If you read my previous post, you will realise the significance of a smoking ban being introduced in all new films to be made with American monies. Even though this is unlikely to become law until 2008, it is being included in films being made now, just to be on the safe side.

It is still being debated whether or not there should be a retrospective ban and how this could be realistically acheived. CGI is the obvious answer. Otherwise it is unlikely that you will ever be able to legally view a Humphrey Bogart film on American soil again.

Again, making reference to my previous post, you will see that I have made those changes necessary in my screenplay, to meet all proposed legislation, by substituting 'cigarettes' with 'chewing gum.'
This was deemed the most desirable 'swap' as chewing gum has similar street cred to smoking cigarettes, without the obvious health hazards.
However, there is a serious problem associated with this chosen selection.

I have it from a reliable source that the use of chewing gum in films is being considered for a ban in films being made in the UK. This is directly linked to the USA smoking ban in films.

Extrapolating, as governments do, has produced a report that states that the banning of smoking in films in the United States will probably lead to a similar ban in the UK within 2 years, which will inadvertently lead to an increase in the use of chewing gum by our favourite film stars, on screen, as a substitute ‘cool’ habit for our youngsters to emulate.

The government's reasoning behind this chewing gum ban is that already our streets are covered in the tell-tale black stains of discarded chewing gum and that it already costs millions in tax payers' money, every year, cleaning it up.

This increase in the use of chewing gum on film has been predicted to lead to a rise in its use by the younger, more gullible generation, in emulation of their film heroes. This would lead to a directly proportional rise in the 'chewing gum' menace, whereby our streets become even more dominated by the tell-tale 'black stain.'

The crucial section of the government report relates to those film scenes where a cigarette was used in the past as a concluding element of a scene, whereas future films would propose that the hero spit out his chewing gum as a substitute for that 'cigarette moment' (as the government are calling it) This has been predicted by the official report to lead to our streets being 'a serious health hazard as well as a stain on our great country.'

It seems that the problem of clearing up the 'chewing gum menace' is the least of our worries.
I have it from a reliable source that the health issues are the major concern. It seems that the chewing gum acts as the perfect preserver in as much as the germs, bacteria and diseases from our saliva can remain preserved for up to 30 years in every piece of discarded chewing gum on our streets. This could lead to a modern day 'plague' which could kill millions in a few short months.

Looks like I may need to do another re-write very soon. I'll keep you updated.

1 comment:

internetgamble said...

The draconian measures of our American 'Big Brother' - And I mean that term in both senses - of the proposed smoking ban in films being produced after 2008 - which means films being made now are having to be re-written and/or re-filmed/re-cut - has made me really pissed off to say the least.
Looks like 'Quigley Cuts Down' will have to be re-titled 'Quigley Gives Up Completely'
However, I am heartened to hear that the French film industry is refusing to ban smoking in its films. Good for the frogs I say!!