Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Quigley Cuts Down

So it looks like “smoking” is to be banned from films in the very near future - at least in American made and/or financed productions – after all it 'glamourises' what is a foul and dangerous habit, much mimicked by those who would associate it with a 'celebrity' lifestyle.
No longer will the hero be able to “light up” after some crucial scene, to share a cigarette after lovemaking, or take his last inhalation of tobacco smoke before expiring of gun shot wounds.

As a scriptwriter and film director, I find myself having to re-write some crucial scenes in my current project because of this possible and most probable change. Here is an example of that re-writing process – a 'before' and 'after' to show you what I mean.

'QUIGLEY CUTS DOWN' is due for release in summer 2007:-

BEFORE:

……….Quigley steps out of the ink stained shadows, the yellow glow of the street light illuminating his creased gabardine as if he’d just stepped out of a bowl of custard.
The dipped brim of his fedora casts a butterscotch shadow over his face, cutting his head in two.

He stands rigid under the sickly yellow light, as the sound of footsteps approach. He steps back into the shadows.
Quigley slips a hand into an inside breast pocket, removes his trusty semi-auto and lets the hand fall by his side, cold metal clenched in his fist.

The footsteps reach a crescendo and then suddenly stop.
Quigley steps back into the custard, raises the gun to waist level and walks purposely forward, pulling on the gun's trigger until the slide locks in the open position. The flashes of light from the gun’s muzzle briefly illuminates his granite features.

Quigley stops and looks down. A faint moaning sound can be heard off camera.
He removes a cigarette from a pocket in one clean movement. He then lights up by striking a match across his 5 o’clock shadow. He inhales deeply and blows a few pretty smoke rings.
The moaning continues as Quigley removes the empty magazine from his 'best friend' and presses home a full magazine extracted from another pocket.

The cigarette hangs loosley from his lips; a wisp of smoke rising vertically in the still night air, sweeping horizontally under the brim of his fedora to dissipate in the evening air.

He spits out a few words from the corner of his mouth.

QUIGLEY
That was for Dobie, now this is for me……..

He fires off the full magazine into his victim’s body then pockets the gun in his breast pocket before turning and walking off into the night.
He extracts the cigarette from his mouth and inadvertently takes a small piece of top lip with it.

QUIGLEY
S**t!! F**k!!!

He walks on, but suddenly stops and lets out a scream. The hot barrel from a well used trusty friend has burnt his left nipple.



AND NOW AFTER – ALL REFERENCES TO SMOKING HAVE BEEN REMOVED: This is the official version, approved by the production company.

……….Quigley steps out of the ink stained shadows, the yellow glow of the street light illuminating his creased gabardine as if he’d just stepped out of a bowl of custard. The dipped brim of his fedora casts a butterscotch shadow over his face, cutting his head in two.

He stands rigid under the sickly yellow light, as the sound of footsteps approach. He steps back into the shadows.
Quigley slips a hand into an inside breast pocket, removes his trusty semi-auto and lets the hand fall by his side, cold metal clenched in his fist.

The footsteps reach a crescendo and then suddenly stop. Quigley steps back into the custard, raises the gun to waist level and walks purposely forward, pulling on the gun's trigger until the slide locks in the open position. The flashes of light from the gun’s muzzle briefly illuminates his granite features.

Quigley stops and looks down. A faint moaning sound can be heard off camera.
Quigley removes a piece of nicotine chewing gum from a pocket, into his mouth in one clean movement, chewing vigorously for that quick fix of nicotine.

The moaning sounds continue off camera, as Quigley removes the empty magazine from his “best friend” and presses home a full magazine extracted from another pocket.

That annoying, wet slap slappity slapping sound of chewing gum, forms an accompaniment to the 'off camera' moaning sounds.

Quigley spits out a few words from the corner of his mouth - the words all mixed up with chewing gum.

QUIGLEY
That was (slap) for Dobie, (slappity slap) now this is (slappity slap slap) for me……..

He fires off the full magazine into his victim’s body then pockets the gun in his breast pocket before turning and walking off into the night.

He suddenly stops, stoops over and retches. A small piece of gum exits his mouth and plops onto the sidewalk.

Quigley wipes his mouth, walks on, then suddenly stops and lets out a scream. The hot barrel from a well used trusty friend has burnt his left nipple.)

2 comments:

pilchardsforbreakfast said...

Operation South Downs. Mean anything to you?!

internetgamble said...

Can you email me via my website please. Thank you.